笨小笨The Barbers News歌词由Megson演唱，出自专辑《What Are We Trying To Say?》，下面是《The Barbers News》完整版歌词！
The Barbers News歌词完整版
Great was the consternation, amazement, and dismay, sir,
Which both in north and south shields, prevailed the other day, sir;
Quite panic-struck the natives were, when told by the barber,
That a terrible sea monster had got into the harbour!
Each honest man in shields--I mean both north and south, sir,
Delighting in occasions to expand their eyes and mouth, sir;
And, fond of seeing marvellous sights, ne'er staid to get his beard off;
But ran to view the monster, its arrival when he heard of.
Oh!Who could think of shaving when informed by the barber,
That a terrible sea monster had got into the harbour.
Each wife pursued her husband, and every child its mother,
Lads and lasses, helter skeltered after one another;
Shopkeepers and mechanics too, forsook their daily labours,
And ran to gape and stare among their gaping, staring neighbours.
Oh!Who could think of shaving when informed by the barber,
That a terrible sea monster had got into the harbour.
It happens very frequently that barber's news is fiction,
But wonderous news this morning it was truth, no contradiction,
Something sure enough was there, among the billows flouncing,
Now sinking in the deep profound, now on the surface bouncing.
Oh!Who could think of shaving when informed by the barber,
That a terrible sea monster had got into the harbour.
Yet greatly jack's discovery his auditors did shock sir,
They dreaded that the salmon would be eat up by the monster,
When presently the monster, their consternation crowning,
Raised its head above the waves, and cried, “o lord, I’m drowning!”
Oh!Who could think of shaving when informed by the barber,
That a speaking sea monster had got into the harbour.
This dreadful exclamation appalled both young and old, sir.
The very stoutest hearts, indeed, it made the blood run cold, sir;
Jack, the hero of the Nile, it caused to quake and tremble,
Until an old wife, sighing, cried, alas!It’s Stephen kremble!
Oh!Who could think of shaving when informed by the barber,
That our Stephen Kremble was the monster in the harbour.
Now having rolled and rubbed him well an hour upon the beach, sir,
He got upon his legs again, and made a serious speech, sir;
God knows with what mischances the future may abound, sirs,
But I hope I’m one of those not fated to be drowned sirs.
Oh!Who could think of shaving when informed by the barber,
That a terrible sea monster had got into the harbour.
