笨小笨Friends S10E13 (口白)歌词由英语听力演唱，出自专辑《老友记（第十季）》，下面是《Friends S10E13 (口白)》完整版歌词！
Friends S10E13 (口白)歌词完整版
Phoebe：Hi
All：Hey Hi
Rachel：How was the honeymoon
Phoebe Oh incredible Oh Champagne candle lit dinners moonlight walks on the beach it was sooo ro man tic
Rachel：Oh
Chandler：So/where's Mike
Phoebe：Oh/he's at the doctor/he didn't poop the whole time we were there
Joey：Well anyway/I'm glad you're back/I really need your help
Phoebe：Oh/why What's up
Joey：I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French Which/according to my résumé/I'm fluent in
Ross：Joey/you shouldn't lie on your résumé
Monica：Yeah/you really shouldn't
To Ross sarcastically
By the way how was that year long dig in Cairo
Ross：
Whispering
It was ok
Rachel：I did not know you spoke French
Phoebe：Oui/bien sur je parle Fran ais Qu'est ce que tu penses alors
Rachel：Oh you're so ***y
Joey：Well/so/will you help me I really wanna be in this play
Phoebe：Sure Tout le plaisir est pour moi/mon ami
Rachel：Seriously stop it/or I'm gonna jump on ya
OPENING CREDITS
Chandler：Hey
Monica：Hey
Chandler：Why are you wearing my apron
Monica：I'm making cookies for Erica And oh/by the way/we have to leave for the airport soon/her plane comes in about an hour
Chandler：Oh/hey/when she gets here/is it ok if I introduce you two as "my wife" and "the woman who's carrying my child"
She's not amused
No Divorce
Ross：
He enters
Hey
Monica：Hey
Ross：You guys know where Rachel is
Monica：No/we haven't seen her since this morning
Ross：So unbelievable She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma
He tries to take a cookie but Monica slaps his hand
Monica：Hey
Ross：Hey
Monica：These are for Erica
Ross：What She's gonna eat all those cookies
Monica：Well/I want he baby to come out all cute and fat
Ross：So/why is Erica coming to visit
Monica：Well/because we want to get to know her better and she's never been to New York so she wants to see all the tourists' spots you know/Statue of Liberty/Empire State Building
Chandler：Oh/those places There's always so many people/they're being corralled like cattle/and you know/there's always some idiot who goes "Mooooo"
Monica：Well/if it annoys you so much/then why do you do it
Ross：
Looking at Rachel entering with Emma
Oh hi Hi Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late
Rachel：Ross
Ross：No/no/no/I'm sure you have a great excuse/wh was it a hair appointment/a mani pedi or was there a sale at Barney's
Rachel：My father had an heart attack
Crying
While I was at Barney's
Ross：Oh my God
Monica：Honey
Chandler：I'm so sorry
Ross：Is is he ok
Rachel：Yeah/they said he's gonna be fine/but he's still heavily sedated
Ross：Ok/ok I'm gonna come out to Long Island with you/I mean/you can't be alone right now
Rachel：No/come on/I'm totally ok
Hugging him
I don't need you to come I can totally handle this on my own
Ross：Still still/let me come for me
Rachel：Ok If you really need to
Ross：I bet someone could use one of Monica's freshly baked cookies
Rachel：Oh/I really could
Ross：Oh
Rachel：Ohh
Ross mouths HA HA at Monica and takes two cookies and she looks at him angrily
Phoebe：All right/it seems pretty simple Your first line is "My name is Claude"/so/just repeat after me "Je m'appelle Claude"
Joey：Je de coup Clow
Phoebe：Well/just let's try it again
Joey：Ok
Phoebe：Je m'appelle Claude
Joey：Je depli mblue
Phoebe：Uh It's not quite what I'm saying
Joey：Really It sounds exactly the same to me
Phoebe：It does/really
Joey：Yeah
Phoebe：All right/let just try it again Really listen
Joey：Got it
Phoebe：
Slowly
Je m'appelle Claude
Joey：Je te flouppe Fli
Phoebe：Oh/mon Dieu
Joey：Oh/de fuff
Monica：
Entering with Erica and Chandler
Hey you guys
Phoebe：Hi
Joey：Hey
Monica：I want you to meet someone really special Phoebe/this is Erica And this is the baby
Phoebe：Oh
Monica：Joey Erica/baby
Joey：Hi
Monica：Everyone Erica/baby
Chandler：Monica Calm/self
Erica：Thank you It's really nice to meet you guys/I can't believe I'm here
Joey：Welcome to New York City Or should I say "ghe deu flooff New York City"
Chandler：Why would you say that
Phoebe：Ok What are you gonna be doing today
Erica：I wanna see everything Times Square/Coney Island/Rockefeller Center
Joey：Oh/you know what you should do You should walk all the way at the top of Statue of Liberty
Erica：Oh yeah/let's do that
Chandler：Great
To Monica
This baby'd better be really good
Rachel：
Stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room
Oh uhm excuse me I'm here to see my father My name is Rachel Green
Ross：And I'm Doctor Ross Geller
Rachel：Ross/please/this is a hospital/ok That actually means something here
Rachel：Can somebody please go in
Nurse：Absolutely
Ross：Rach/I think I'm gonna wait out here/because my throat is feeling a little scratchy/I don't want to infect him
Rachel：Ross/please/don't be so scared of him
Ross：I'm not scared of him/I'm really sick
Nurse：He's under sedation/so he's pretty much out
Ross：I'm feeling better
Rachel：Oh
They enter Rachel sees his father lying on a bed with tubes drip and everything
Oh Oh my God Ohhh ohhh wow that ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain huh
Nurse：Miss Green/your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him
Rachel：Oh/great/Are you gonna be ok
Ross：He's unconscious/I think we'll be just fine
Rachel
Leaving
：Ok
Ross goes into the room where Dr Green is laying unconscious He turns on the TV puts his feet on the bed and starts watching a dinosaur movie where the dinosaur is caught by two cowboys Dr Geller awakes
Ross：Did the TV wake you
Dr Green：No/when you put your feet up in my bed/you tugged on my catheter
Ross：Ouchy
Dr Green：What are you doing here/Geller
Ross：Well/I came with Rachel/who should be back any second
Pause
So what's new
Dr Green：Ooh/I have a little heart attack
Ross：Right/is it painful
Dr Green：What/the heart attack or sitting here talking to you
Ross
He buzzes for the nurse
Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here
Dr Green：So what's new with you/uh/knocked up any more of my daughters lately
Ross：Nope/just the one RACH
Phoebe：Je m'appelle Claude
Joey：Je do call blue
Phoebe：Noooo Ok/maybe if we just break it down Ok/let's try at one syllable at a time Ok So repeat after me "je"
Joey：je
Phoebe：m'ap
Joey：mah
Phoebe：pelle
Joey：pel
Phoebe：Great/ok faster "je"
Joey：je
Phoebe：m'ap
Joey：mah
Phoebe：pelle
Joey：pel
Phoebe：Je m'appelle
Joey：Me pooh pooh
Phoebe：Ok/it's too hard/I can't teach you
Joey：What are you doing
Phoebe：I/I have to go before I put your head through a wall
She leaves
Joey：
He goes out calling her
Don't move Don't go I need you My audition is tomorrow Shah blue blah Me lah peeh Ombrah
He gives up
Pooh
Ross：Hey
Rachel：Hi
Ross：I w s gonna make us some dinner but all I found in your dad's fridge was bacon and heavy cream
Pause
I think we solved the mystery of the heart attack
Rachel：Uh
Pause
Did you call your parents
Ross：Oh/yeah Emma's doing great
Rachel：Oh good
Ross：Wow
Rachel：What
Ross：Just can't believe I'm in Rachel Green's room
Rachel：What do you mean You've been in my room before
Ross：Yeah/sure/right Like I've ever been in Rachel Green's room
Rachel：Ok I gotta tell ya/it's really weird when you use my whole name
Ross：Sorry
Rachel sits on her bed
You ok
Rachel：Yeah
Ross：You had a rough day/uh
Rachel：Yeah/just so weird seeing him like that/you know I mean he is a doctor/you don't expect doctors to get sick
Ross：But we do
Pause
It's gonna be ok Rach
Rachel：
She's sad
Ow I don't want him to wake up alone I should go to the hospital
Ross：What No/no Hey/hey/hey look
Rachel：What
Ross：They gave him a lot of medication/ok He wouldn't even know if you were there Look/we'll go see him first thing in the morning/ok
Rachel：Really/I shouldn't feel guilty
Ross：No/God Hey/Rach/you've been an amazing daughter/ok Right now you just need to get some rest
Rachel：Ok/maybe you're right
Ross：
He kisses her on her forehead
Good night
Rachel：Wait/wait/wait/wait Would you stay here with me for a little while
Ross：Sure
Rachel：Ok
She sits on the bed and Ross sits near her
+i Thank you for coming with me today
Ross：Oh/of course
Rachel：Rachel Green is very happy you're in her room
Ross：Me too Come here
They hug
Rachel：I just don't want to be alone tonight
Ross：Ok/well/uh/I can maybe grab a sleeping bag/or
There's one of those moments They're staring at each other no word uttered and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him but he ducks and avoids her more than once
Oh oh
He then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again he stands up and she falls down on the bed
No Rach I'm sorry I just don't think this this this is a good idea
Rachel：Wait/we won't know that until we do it/will we
Ross：No/look/uh You are upset about your father and you're feeling vulnerable and I just don't feel it would be right/I'd feel like I'd be/you know/taking advantage of you
Rachel：Taking advantage I'm giving you the advantage/enjoy
Ross：Look/I'm sure it would be great/but I I think one of us has to be thinking clearly/so/I'm gonna go
Rachel：Wow Ok
Ross：I'll see you in the morning
He leaves
Rachel：Mhm mh
Ross：
Outside her room talking by
Imself
Haven't had *** in four months I should get a medal for that
Erica：Thanks so much for taking me to all those places I had a great time
Monica：Oh/I'm glad Listen/I want to apologize about Chandler/though I just did not see this coming
Chandler：
Enters the room wearing an "I love New York" t shirt a "Statue of Liberty" hat and carrying bags
New York is awesome
Monica：What is with you
Chandler：Yeah/I've been to these places before/but I've never really seen them/you know
Monica：Yeah/you miss alot/when you're moo ing
Erica：Thanks so much for showing me around
Monica：Oh It was our pleasure We are so much enjoying getting to know you
Erica：Well/if there is anything else you wanna know
Monica and Chandler look at each other
Chandler：Oh/uhm/okay/uhm/do you mind if we ask you some questions about the father
Erica：Oh/sure Yeah/well/he was my high school boyfriend Captain of the football team/really cute and he got a scholarship and went off to college
Monica and Chandler are smiling from ear to ear
Chandler：That's great
Erica：Yeah it's almost definitely him
Monica and Chandler look confused now
Monica：How's that now
Erica：Well/there is a chance it's another guy I mean/I have only ever been with two guys/but they sorta overlapped
Chandler：So/what does the other guy do Does he go to college too
Erica：No/he's in prison
More shocked looks from Monica and Chandler
Monica：Was he falsely accused of something
They look hopeful
Erica：No he killed his father with a shovel
Monica and Chandler's jaws drop
But other than that he's a great guy
Chandler：I'll bet his dad doesn't think so
Time lapse Chandler and Monica are in bed now
Monica：Are you awake
Chandler：Of course I'm awake Assume from now on that I'm always awake
He turns the light on
Monica：Alright/we don't know that it's him I mean/it could be the football guy
Chandler：Honey/it's us Of course it's the shovel killer
Monica：Alright/lets say that it is him/would we not want the baby No Would we treat him any differently
Chandler：I'd keep an eye on him We have to find out which one the father is
Monica：How
Chandler：I dunno/aren't there tests for these things/right
Monica：Yeah/but maybe we're just over reacting
Chandler：Pff/easy for you to say/he's a father killer He probably loves him mommy He's probably got a tattoo that says "mom" on his shovel wielding arm
Tape：We will now count from one to five Un/deux/trois/quatre/cinq
Joey：Huh/un/blu/bla/flu/flenk
Tape：Good job
Joey：Thank you
Phoebe enters
Phoebe：Hey Joey
Joey：Hey
Phoebe：Listen/I feel really badly about yesterday and I thought about it a lot and/and I know/I was too impatient SO lets try it again
Joey：Oh/no/that's okay/I don't need your help I worked on it myself and I gotta say/I am pretty good
Phoebe：Really/can I hear some of it
Joey：Sure/sure Ok
Clears his throat and starts to read from his script He starts talking in a fake French accent making gestures with his hands
"Bleu de la bleu de la blu bla bleu"
Phoebe looks astonished annoyed and disgusted Joey seems very proud though
See
Phoebe：Well/you're not
She tries to smile and contain her anger but loses it
You're not you're not again you're not SPEAKING FRENCH
Joey：
Offended
Oh well I think I am yeah and I think I'm definitely gonna get the part
Phoebe：How could you possibly think that
Joey：For one thing/the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job
Ross：Hey Rach/can you grab me a cup of coffee
Rachel：
She turns around very slowly looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee
Sure
She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him
Ross：You've been quiet all morning Is everything okay
Rachel：Hmm hmm
Starts to pour herself a cup of coffee never looking at Ross
Ross：You sure you're alright
Rachel：
Coldly
Yep
Ross：
Knowing she's not alright
O kay Well I'm gonna go grab us some breakfast
He starts to leave
Rachel：FYI
Ross：
Knew this was coming
There it is
He comes back
Rachel：In the future/when a girl asks for some ill advised sympathy *** just do it
She smiles fakely at him
Ross：
Half amused
Wait wait
Looks around a little
You're mad at me about last night I was just trying to do the right thing
Rachel：
Sarcastically
Really Well it seems to me if you'd done the right thing I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied
Ross：
Acknowledging the last part of her sentence
Well
Rachel：Oh stop that
Ross：I can't believe this I was just being a good guy I treated you with respect and understanding
Rachel：
Sarcastic
Oh that is so hot
She walks around him to the other side
"Ross：Hey/I was looking out for you
Rachel：Oh/really/well Ross/you know what I am a big girl I don't need someone telling me what is best for me
Ross：I gotta say/I have not had *** a lot of times before/this is the worst ever
Rachel：Oh/really/really Well/it wasn't very good for me either
She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms
Ross：Hey you know what You know what To avoid this little thing in the future/let's just say/you and me/never having *** again
Rachel：What
Ross：That's right/*** is off the table
The door starts to open behind him and Dr Green emerges
I am never having *** with you again
Rachel stays quiet and after a few moments Ross realizes what has happened He turns abruptly
Dr Green are you feeling better
Rachel's dad glares at him with a deadly look
Chandler：Hey How was lunch
Erica：
To Chandler
We had a good time By the way I wanted to ask you something It would really mean a lot to me if the baby was a boy that you name him after my father Jiminy Billy Bob
Monica smiles at Chandler and he looks shocked and scared getting no support from his wife
Chandler：
Struggling
Oh really
Erica：No
To Monica
You we're right that was fun I'm gonna go finish packing
Chandler：O okay
Steps closer to Monica and speaks softly
So is she gonna take the test
Monica：Nope/she doesn't have to/I found out who the father is
Chandler：Oh God It's shovely Joe/isn't it
Monica：
Smiling
No it's not
Chandler：How do you know
Erica：Well/it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in *** Ed class/because the thing she did with that prison guy it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way
Chandler：Oh God What was it The thing that we hardly ever do or the thing we never do
Monica：The thing we never do
Chandler：
Nods in appreciation
Shovely Joe
Director：Whenever you're ready Joey
Joey：Right
Clears his throat
Dja bu bu Claude Uh c'est la pu les la lu blah bloo
Casting assistant：I'm sorry/what's going on
Joey：Dude/come on French it u up
Director：Joey/do you speak French
Joey：Toutes la smore Bu blu ay bloo blah ooh Pfoof
Director：You know what I think this audition is over
Joey looks disappointed but understands
Phoebe：
In a French accent
Director：You really think this man is speaking French
Joey：Sa sa saw
Phoebe：écoutez/je vais vous dire la vérité C'est mon petit frère Il est un peu retardé
Translation：Listen/I will tell you the truth He's my little bother He's a bit retarded
The director looks at Joey and he nods
"Phoebe：Alors/si vous pouviez jouer le jeu avec lui
Translation：So/would you please just humor him
Director：
To Joey
Good job little buddy That was some really good French But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part
Joey：Ah All right But my French was good
Director：It was great
Joey：
To Phoebe
Oh hoh Ha hah See
Phoebe：
To the director
Merci Au revoir
Translation：Thanks/goodbye
Joey：Yeah hah Toute de le fruit
Ross：Emma's down for the night
Rachel：Oh/good
Ross：So uh I guess I wanna take off
Rachel：Okay Hey listen/just before you go I I again/I just wanna say "thank you" for coming with me
Ross：Oh/no problem
Rachel：And also/you know I uh/I was thinking about what you said/you know/about the whole *** thing and it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again
Ross：Thank you I'm glad you agree
Rachel：It's a shame though/I mean/when we did it/it was pretty good
Ross：Yeah Yeah/that's true
Rachel：Hey uhm/do you remember that one really great time
Ross：Oh/ye ah
Rachel：You know it was you're uhm birthday
Ross：Valentine's day
Rachel：Well/I guess that's all in the past/now
Ross：Hmmm mmmm
Rachel：
After a pause
Not even one more time
Ross：Not even once
Rachel：No matter how much we want it
Ross：Even if we want it really bad
Rachel：That's what we decided
Ross：Uhm/right
Rachel：It's kinda hard though
Ross：Yeah
Rachel：You know/when two people have a connection/you know/that's just seems like such a waste
Ross：I hate waste
Rachel：Ross
Ross：Yes
Rachel：Just so you know With us it's never off the table
She enters her room and closes the door
Ross：d**n it It's never off the table
He leaves the apartment
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Phoebe：Okay/can you really tapdance
Joey：No
Phoebe：It's off the resumé
She strikes it through with a pencil
Phoebe：Archery
Joey：No
Phoebe：Horseback riding
Joey：Would fall off a lot
Phoebe：You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds
Joey：That I can do
Phoebe：Come on You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds
Joey：Al/right/watch me
He takes a full container of milk from the fridge
Okay you time me Ready
Phoebe：Ready GO
Joey takes the plastic container to his mouth and starts to drink Most of the milk gushes from the bottle down his chin and over his clothes to the floor He keeps "drinking" and all of a sudden he lifts it up and half the bottle of milk pours out in an instant He then continues to drink the rest He then puts the empty container down on the counter
Phoebe：
Checking her watch
You did it
