笨小笨Schticks & Stones歌词由Allan Sherman演唱，出自专辑《My Complete Extended + Expanded Remastered + Reissued Special Deluxe Limited Edition Greatest Hits Album》，下面是《Schticks & Stones》完整版歌词！
Schticks & Stones歌词完整版
Shticks Of One And A Half Dozen Of The Other - Allan Sherman
She wheels her wheelbarrow
Through streets that are narrow
Her barrow is narrow her hips are too wide
So wherever she wheels it
The neighborhood feels it
Her girdle keeps scraping the homes on each side
In Dublin's fair city
Where girls are so pretty
My Molly stands out 'cause she weighs 18 stone
(That's 256 pounds )
I don't mind her fat but
It's not only that but
She's cockeyed and muscle-bound Molly Malone
I know a man his name is Lang
And he has a neon sign
And Mister Lang is very old
So they call it Old Lang's Sign
Oh what have you done Billy Sol Billy Sol
Oh what have you done charming Billy
You took almost every cent
From the you S Government
Which you spent on fertilizer which is silly
All day all night Cary Grant
That's all I hear from my wife is Cary Grant
What can he do that I can't
Big deal big star Cary Grant
Oh the moon is bright tonight upon the car wash
So I'm having my Volkswagen washed again
But the way things go with me the way my luck is
Just as soon as they're finished it will rain
On top of Old Smoky
All covered with hair
Of course I'm referring
To Smoky The Bear
Every time you take vaccine
Take it orally
As you know the other way
Is more painfully
My grandfather's clock was the best ever made
By the Timex company
Just like the clock John Cameron Swayze displayed
Last night on the old tv
Oh it works under water so perfectly
And still makes a ticking sound
Which my grandfather tried only this afternoon
And that's how the old man drowned
Do not make a stingy sandwich
Pile the cold cuts high
Customers should see salami
Coming through the rye
Oh I diet all day and I diet all night
It's enough to drive me bats
Got no gravy or potatoes
'Cause the whole refrigerator's
Fulla polyunsaturated fats
Fare thee well Metrecal
And the others of that ilk
Let the diet start tomorrow
'Cause today I'll drown my sorrow
In a double malted milk
When you go to the delicatessen store
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
I repeat what I just said before
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
Oh buy the corned beef if you must
The pickled herring you can trust
And the lox puts you in orbit aok
But that big hunk of liverwurst
Has been there since October First
And today is the Twenty-Third of May
So when you go to the delicatessen store
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
It'll make your insides awful sore
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
