笨小笨Friends S01E16- 17 (有声读物)歌词由英语听力演唱，出自专辑《老友记（第一季）》，下面是《Friends S01E16- 17 (有声读物)》完整版歌词！
Friends S01E16- 17 (有声读物)歌词完整版
Ursula spins around looking puzzled quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from
Chandler：It's Phoebe Hi
Ursula notices Joey waving his hand and comes over
Chandler：Can we start over
Ursula：Yeah Okay great I'm gonna be over here
She wanders away
Opening Credits
Rachel：I've never done that
Outside in the street Joey and Chandler arrive to peer through the window at Phoebe by bending down to look underneath the shop's sign a large steaming cup of coffee
Joey：I'm sayin' I see a difference
Chandler：They're twins
Joey：I don't care Phoebe's Phoebe Ursula's hot
Joey and Chandler come indoors
Joey：Yeah
Chandler：Let's not do that any more
They hang up their coats and scarves then approach their friends on the main sofa
All：Hey guys Hey
Joey：Nope
Phoebe：Morly Safer
Joey：Nope
Phoebe：The woman who cuts my hair
Chandler：Your sister Ursula
Phoebe：
Her face dropping
Oh really
Joey：Not from where I was standin'
Phoebe：
Turning to Chandler
Where were you standing
Distractedly putting on a jacket to go out
I mean it mighta been at first but by now I I think I'm pretty comfortable with the whole situation
Ross：I know
Rachel grins as Ross removes the girlie jacket grabs his own and rushes out
Has to clear his throat
I'm Ross Geller and err ah
Pats Carol's bulge
That's that's my boy in there and uh
Points
This is Carol Willick and this is Susan Bunch Susan is um Carol's just com
Embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow who becomes incoherent until
Who's next
Carol：Life partner
Ross：Like buddies
Susan：Like lovers
Ross：You know how close women can get
The teacher smiles but her eyebrows go up Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately
Carol：Susan and I live together
Ross：Although I was married to her
Carol：It's a little complicated
Ross：A little
Susan：But we're fine
Ross：Absolutely
Turns back to the woman next to him
So twins hah That's like two births
He struggles again
Ouch
Helen's buzzer is heard on the intercom so Chandler presses his button too
Chandler：And
He imitates the buzzer
To you too Helen
Helen：
Over the intercom
Nina Bookbinder is here to see you
He hurriedly checks his hair in his computer screen before taking a sporting trophy from a drawer to place ostentatiously on his desk An attractive young woman opens the door
Nina：Hi
Nina：You wanted to see me
WEENUS
Nina：Your excuse me
Chandler：WENUS
Coughs
Weekly Estimated Net
WEENUS
Nina beams flirtatiously at Chandler who catches her drift but for once he's lost for something to say so she nods her head to tell him that he's thinking correctly
Ross：It doesn't matter You don't dip your pen in the company ink
Marcel scampers about interfering with the neatness
Marcel points the remote at Monica's television pressing a particular combination of keys The logo SAP appears on the screen and suddenly the dialogue is dubbed into Spanish
Monica：Great
Rachel：
Looking at the television
Cool Urkel in Spanish is Urkel
Ross：
Looking at the remote
How did he do this
Chandler：
Looking out at the balcony
So tell me something is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long
Rachel slowly spins around finally noticing that the lights have outstayed their welcome
Finally noticing Monica's note stuck to the refrigerator
How long has that been there
Joey enters looking extremely pleased with himself
Chandler：Score
Joey：She is so hot
He indicates Phoebe who is helping Ross understand the remote control
Joey：Pheebs
Phoebe：
Jumping up
Yeah
Joey：You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister
Phoebe：Why Why would you wanna do that Why
He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about then exits Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe who slides back down next to Ross
Ross：You okay
Phoebe：Yeah I'm fine
Ross：You wanna watch Laverne y Shirley
The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain yet with a Latin lilt Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm
Ross：Sorry
Susan：Stuck at school Some parent teacher thing You can go I'll get the information
Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down
Ross and Susan：What What What
Susan：I am supposed to be the mommy
Ross：I see So what do you propose to do
Susan：I will flip you for it
Susan：
Triumphantly
On your back Mom
Ross gets down like all the other mothers cradled in Susan's lap like all the other fathers
Forgetting herself Susan does the Mommy action with Ross
Teacher：Good Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower
Ross comes out of character to glare into the distance
Chandler：And
Mr Douglas：It's pretty ugly We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies
70ANUS
Chandler：So what does this mean
Mr Douglas：Not you Relax Ever have to fire anyone
Chandler：Nina Nina
He goes around his desk to where she is sitting
Nina
In pain
Nina
She sympathetically reaches out to fondle the inner thigh of his left leg
Nina：Are you okay
Chandler：
Looking down at her hand
Yes yes I am Err listen the reason that I called you in here today was err please don't hate me
Nina：
Taking her hand away
What
Chandler：
Suddenly bright
Would you like to have dinner sometime
Nina gasps in surprise and relief
Rachel：Okay Let me put it this way Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn
Phoebe：Ooh Bath salts would be nice
Jamie Buchman and Fran Devanow enter the coffee house They look about them as Jamie removes her coat and scarf
Jamie：What is this place
Indicating the sign
There's a cup of coffee on the window How bad could it be
Jamie notices Phoebe sitting at the counter
Jamie：I think we have an answer
Fran：What's she doing here
Jamie：This could be God's way of telling us to eat at home
Fran：Think she got fired at Riff's
Shuddering at the memory
Bringing swordfish
Indicating the ladies' bathroom
Are you gonna go to the um
Jamie：It looks like her
Phoebe walks by ignoring the two strangers
Phoebe：Yeah
Phoebe：
Smiling blankly
Right and it's me
Phoebe：Much as you are
Jamie：
Without moving her lips
Your turn
Fran：Err we know what we want
Phoebe：
Philosophically
Oh that's good
Jamie：All we want is two Caffe Lattes
Fran：And some biscotti cookies
Phoebe：Good choice
Phoebe turns away so that the two weird women won't see the face she pulls and sits down
Jamie：Definitely her
Fran：Yeah
Commercial break
Phoebe uses the remote to stop the Spanish by turning off the television
Monica：I can't believe you You still haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job yet
Imitating men at their worst
Sweetheart you're fired but how 'bout a quickie before I go to work
Joey lets himself in carrying a large paper shopping bag
Joey：Hey
Rachel and Chandler：Hey
There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered
Monica：I'll get it
She rises dragging Chandler along by the wool Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them Monica opens the door to find Mr Heckles standing there
Mr Heckles：You're doing it again
Mr Heckles：I can hear you through the ceiling My cats can't sleep
Rachel：You don't even have cats
Mr Heckles：I could have cats
Monica：
Closing the door
Goodbye Mr Heckles
Rachel：We'll try to keep it down
The wool bound trio returns to the table Rachel has to rush ahead to avoid becoming tangled Joey brings the shopping bag over to Phoebe and takes out a nice cardigan
Delightedly examining the cardigan in her lap
Oh this is really
Disgustedly dropping the cardigan back into the bag
Okay it fits
The others have been taking all this in
Rachel：Are you seein' her again tonight
Joey：Yep Ice Capades
Phoebe：That you like
Snappily confronting Joey over the heads of the knitting circle
We get it You like her Great
The circle freezes in apprehension
Joey：Okay Well maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay
Phoebe：Okay
An embarrassed silence finally broken by
Monica frantically bursts into action as Rachel resumes winding tangling Chandler's wool
Chandler：And that's the Chrysler Building right there
Mr Douglas：Nina
Nina：Mr Douglas
Flirting defensively
Cool tie
She escapes fortunately so distracting Mr Douglas that he misses Chandler's expression of alarm &guilt
Mr Douglas：
Shutting the door then pointing vaguely at Nina's shapely departure
She's still here
Thinking quickly Chandler desperately tries to remember anything to do with schizophrenia
Mr Douglas：You're kidding She seems so
Miming fairies twinkling around his head
She is whooo wewee woo whoo whoo In fact if you asked her right now she would have no recollection of being fired at all none at all
Mr Douglas：That's unbelievable
Mr Douglas：I see I guess you never really know what's goin' on inside a person's head
Mr Douglas screws up his eyes trying to credit what Bing has just said but turning to follow Nina down the corridor he realises Bing must be telling the truth since he would not have any personal interest in the girl would he
Teacher：Lights please And that's having a baby Next week is our final class
People start getting up Ross grabs Carol's doll to hold it upside down like a football slapping it with his other hand
Susan just glares back as Ross's inappropriate joke falls flat Meanwhile a bubble is about to burst
Carol：This is impossible It's just impossible
Carol：
Turning on Ross
OH WHAT DO YOU KNOW NO ONE'S GOING UP TO YOU AND SAYING HI IS THAT YOUR NOSTRIL MIND IF WE PUSH THIS POT ROAST THROUGH IT
Both women gulp in air Ross looks at his football then manipulates the head &limbs back into place until it resembles what it represents
Ross is staring blankly into space
Ross：I'm gonna be a father
Rachel：This is just occurring to you
Rachel：
She comforts him too
Oh you're gonna be great
Joey tires of this so he gets up to leave
Phoebe：Where're you going
Joey：Out
Phoebe：With
Joey：
Spreading his arms wide
Yes
Joey nods his head
Joey walks toward the door then hesitates and turns back
Phoebe buttons her lip while the rest of the gang pretend they're not there
Nina：Do you have a sec
Nina：Maybe But that doesn't explain why they keep taking my scissors
Nina：I am
Nina：Oh my god
Rushing over to give him a big hug
You're amazing
Presses a button
Helen could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinder's raise
Helen：
Over the intercom
So you still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel
Nina：What
Chandler：Helen drinks
Insincerely
Will you marry me
Nina puts her hands on her hips then gives Chandler a quizzical look
Chandler：Pretty well Except for the stapler thing
He holds up a bandaged hand
He mimes Nina taking her revenge
On the desk
Monica points the remote at her TV and punches out a key combination from the book but the dreaded SAP logo remains and Spanish still comes forth
Monica：
Remotely turning off the television
Okay Pheebs they're gone
Phoebe：Okay
Monica：Are you alright
8 12
Monica and Rachel：
Wistfully shaking their heads
No
Chandler：You're not gonna lose him
Phoebe：Yeah Okay
Phoebe：But he's falling in love with her
Phoebe：Okay Okay
Monica and Ross indicate that they mean right now
Phoebe gets up and walks acRoss the hallway but the door to Chandler and Joey's apartment is shut She knocks and anxiously waits for Joey to come but instead her identical twin sister emerges wearing one of Joey's shirts
Ursula：
Surprised
Oh
Phoebe reels back in shock while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place
Closing Credits
She climbs onto the railing to reach the top of a pole
I'm takin' 'em down Okay Whoa
Screams
Rachel slips loses her balance and falls over the edge
Monica：Oh my god Rachel
Rushing out to look over the edge
Rachel
In the apartment below Mr Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights
Rachel：
To Monica
I'm okay I'm okay
She knocks on Mr Heckles's window
Mr Heckles Mr Heckles could you help me please
English translations
Snow ploughs are clearing the streets
Ross has got antenatal class
The girls divide some Chinese takeaway
Ursula brought a toasted tuna sandwich
And four plates of crinkle cut chips
You wanna watch Laverne and Shirley
Each couple learns how to change a nappy
The ladies' toilet
We want two creamy espressos
And some biscuits biscuits
