笨小笨Friends S08E14 (口白)歌词由英语听力演唱，出自专辑《老友记 (第八季)》，下面是《Friends S08E14 (口白)》完整版歌词！
Friends S08E14 (口白)歌词完整版
Monica：Hey What s up
Closes the door and reopens it to give Phoebe her guitar
Ok Here you go
Phoebe：Ok
Phoebe：Um
The door slams shut Phoebe knocks on it again Monica opens it
Monica：What
Phoebe：Ok Do you guys want me to play for you
Monica：No
She shuts the door Chandler walks up with dry cleaning
They enter and Phoebe gasps
Phoebe：Oh my God You're getting a massage
Monica looks up
You never let me massage you
Monica：I can explain
Phoebe：You told me you hate massages
Chandler：
To himself
Buy stamps
Holds up them
Pick up dry cleaning
Holds it up
Don t let Phoebe in
Phoebe：I can t believe this How long has this been going on
Points to the apartment
Yeah uh what the hell
They leave
Opening Credits
She pushes and the baby is born
Hands the baby to Joey
What a beautiful baby Congratulations
Joey opens the blanket and to reveal Ross s head
Ross：I hope you're a better father than you are a friend Waaahhh
Joey freaks out and wakes up
Joey：Aah Ooh
Rachel knocks and enters
Rachel：Joey Joey
Joey：What What
Joey：Uhh
Rachel：The baby s kicking for the first time Will you please come and feel this
Joey：Really
Rachel：Yes
Joey gets up
Wraps the sheets around himself
Maybe you maybe you should come to me I I m not wearing any bottoms
Rachel does and he places his hand on her belly
Oh my oh my God
Joey：Mia Hamm
Rachel：Mia Hamm Ooh
Joey：It s so amazing
Rachel：Whoa One hand on the sheet cover
Joey：Whoops
Grabs the sheet
Sorry
Chandler：Hey babe
Chandler picks it up
Chandler：Who says you can t get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks Maybe we can take it back
Chandler：Ok
Points
How about in that cabinet
Chandler：How about the closet by the bathroom
Monica：Ooh Ok Here Why don t you let me do it
She takes the bowl
Takes it
Honey you need to sit down relax and let your husband take care of things once in awhile
Tries the door
It s locked You have to help me Why is it locked
Monica：Feminine stuff
Chandler：Don t try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff
Chandler：All right
Monica：Thank you
She turns and he tries the lock again
Chandler：Love you
Phoebe enters
Monica glares at him
If I said if it helps
He goes to his room
Phoebe：Why won t you let me massage you
Phoebe：We lived together for years I've seen you naked
Monica：That was different We were roommates And when
Phoebe：I m curious about the human body
Monica：Hey come on Phoebe You can understand why this would be weird for me
Monica：Ok If it means that much to you
Monica：Dinosaurs
Ross：It is
He tries to take off his gloves with his teeth When that doesn t work he shakes them off Then he puts his hands on Rachel s belly
Mimics the hand shaking thing
Again
Joey：A dreamless sleep
Hands it to Rachel
I don t care if it s three in the morning and and all you want is some ice cream
He reaches for it but Rachel won t give it to him
Phoebe：
Off screen
Are you under the sheet
Monica：Yes
Phoebe comes out and turns on music
Phoebe：Great Let s begin
Starts the massage
How s the pressure
Monica：No Ohh
Phoebe：That s right You just enjoy
Monica：Oh Oh yeah Ohhh Ohhh Oh yeah
Phoebe：Ok
Phoebe s getting freaked out
Oh Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Phoebe puts her hands on her ears starts massaging with her elbows
Chandler：I wasn t trying to open your closet I wasn t trying to open your closet
It s just Joey
Chandler：Monica has a secret closet and she won t let me see what s in it
Joey：Why
Chandler：I don t know I don t know what she could possibly be hiding in there that I can t see
Joey：I don t know Ooh I bet it s Richard
Chandler：Why would Monica be keeping Richard in here
He leaves
Cut to Joey and Rachel s Joey enters
Joey：Stupid closet full of bugs
He bolts the door
Rachel：Really
Rachel：Oh God
He helps her up
Ow
She gets up
There you go Ow Crushing bones Oh good thing we're going to a hospital
Joey：Hey So
Rachel：Hmm mild discomfort I take it you've had one of those Braxton thingies
Doctor：Absolutely
Doctor：Contractions can be unnerving if you don t know what they are She s fine
The doctor leaves
She hugs him
Joey：I wasn t calm I've never been more scared in my entire life
Joey：But what do I know I m not a doctor
Rachel：But I everything is ok I m fine
Joey：You are
Rachel：yes Yes I have a mind to contract that doctor s uterus though Mild discomfort
Ross runs in
Joey：Hey
Ross：Is everything ok
Rachel：Yeah Everyone s fine
Ross：What your page said come to the hospital What What happened
Joey：Something called Braxton Hicks contractions
Ross：Oh Thank God That s no big deal Most women can t even feel them
Rachel：You went to the movies by yourself
Ross：No Mona
She goes back in
Hands a pamphlet to Joey
Joey：Thanks
Commercial Break
Chandler：There s got to be a way
Chandler：Yeah
Checks his hair
Oh yeah wait I m not a nine year old girl
Joey：Then why do you throw like one
Chandler：Maybe Monica has a bobby pin
He goes into the bathroom
Joey：Oh sure Monica
Joey：Good Really good I should be ready to kill myself any day now
Chandler hands him the pin
Wow you sure found that quick
Messes with the lock
I just wish I didn t feel this way about Rachel Ok I wish things could go back to normal I love living with her and oh my god helping with the baby is just amazing Now I think I think Ross feels
Left out Ok when I had to take Rachel to the hospital the doctor thought I was the father You should've seen the look on Ross s face By the way I have no idea what I m doing here For all I know I m just locking it more
Pulls out the pin
Oh hey did you try opening it with a credit card
Chandler：That s a good idea
Joey：Yeah
Chandler pulls out a credit card and slides it in
The card falls in
Richard if if if you're in there could you pass me my credit card
Monica：Hey
Phoebe：Hey
Phoebe：I know I got that
Monica：Ok Ok
Monica：What
Phoebe：Six hundred
Monica：What s going on
Monica：Wh
Monica：What You're crazy There s nothing ***ual about the noises I make
Phoebe：Is there nothing ***ual about this Ohh Oh God Ooh Oh Oh Oh
To a guy behind them
What are you looking at I mean hi
Monica：Oh my God I m never going to get massages again
Phoebe：You can t let this stop you from getting massages I have lots of clients who make the same noises you do
Monica：Really
Monica：Are you sure
Phoebe：Yes
Monica：I guess
To the guy
So Did you hear something you like
She s balancing a soda can on her belly
I learned a new trick Huh
He gives her a bag
Ross：It s ok
She pulls out a sandwich
Rachel：Ohh
Takes a bite
Mouth full
Did you put pickles on this
Rachel：Oh no
She runs into the bathroom
No No
Joey：What s going on
Joey s eating it
Joey：I m on it
Ross：I can t believe this I shouldn t be the one making her throw up
Rachel comes out
Ross：Yeah
Rachel：What s up
They do
I want to talk about our situation
Rachel gasps
Rachel：Are you breaking up with us
Rachel：Yeah
Joey：Maybe you two should live together
Rachel：Are you asking me to move out You don t like me here
Ross looks at her
Or he does
Rachel：But Ross It s you and me
Joey：So What do you think
Rachel：I don t know Is it crazy
Ross：Really
Rachel：Yeah
They hug with Joey watching
Rachel：Yay
Chandler：Not too shabby I got this off myself using my wife s tools
He takes the door off revealing a closet packed tight with a bunch of miscellaneous junk There are baskets a box a globe a shovel and other stuff
Oh my God
Monica comes home and gasps
Monica：How did you get in there
Chandler laughs
Chandler：You're messy
Chandler：I married Fred Sanford
He sings what I guess is the theme to the show
Ok ok fine now you know I m I m I m sick
Monica：Really You promise you won t tell anyone
Chandler：Hey
Joey：Hey
Shows him the jug
And uh it s a couple weeks past its expiration date so it s uh it s got a bit of a kick
Chandler：Are you ok
Chandler hugs him
Closing Credits
Monica：Ohh
Phoebe：That s it Just relax
Monica：God
Monica：Phoebe
She leaves
