笨小笨A Poem I Haven’t Thought About Writing Yet (Explicit)歌词由Jrose演唱，出自专辑《Pieces of My Crumbled Thoughts (Explicit)》，下面是《A Poem I Haven’t Thought About Writing Yet (Explicit)》完整版歌词！
A Poem I Haven’t Thought About Writing Yet (Explicit)歌词完整版
This is a poem I haven't thought about writing yet
I say that because, to think of the words I'd write
Would require me to unzip the scars from my wrist
And untwist the lies from my lips when I said "I'm okay"
I'd have to watch every regret drip slowly from reopened wounds I'd rather forget
How I wish they bled shooting stars instead of the ink I'd use to write myself to death
And name my pen... suicide
Dying by way of punctuation from slicing commas off of semicolons to end my life sentence like a period..... What a poetic way to go.....
This is a poem I haven't thought about writing yet
To fathom these words I'd have to resurrect phantoms from forgotten forevers
Shadowbox with my darkest truths.....
Get dirt under my nails, digging for my deepest roots.....
Invalidate the self-validation it took me over 30 years to pursue
I'd have to become an alchemist of self-esteem
Breaking down this confidence into manipulation, so that I can feel guilt again
Have my dignity on tilt again
Let my garden wilt again
I'd have to remember how self-loathing mocked me in my own mirror
Mimicking me maliciously when all I wanted was to be seen
I mean, that's why I looked in the first place
But instead of being met with warm eyes and a bright smile
The first thing I saw first was disgrace
Followed by disappointment, topped off by "who the fuck am I".....
To think anyone gives 15 seconds of fucks about the stories that last more than 24 hours
When life is viewed through portrait mode and I
I never seemed to fit in that frame
This is a poem I haven't thought about writing yet
To get this shit out, I'd have to board domestic flights to states of violence
Only to escape and end up nestled under neglect like a vow of silence
To pen these planes I'd have to depart from denial and ascend to acceptance
Land in terminals of truth and let the baggage claim my existence
I keep filling up these suitcases with shit I don't even use at home
Feeling like, SHIT, I don't really have a home
Cuz I don't remember the last place I left that piece of my heart at
Maybe it dripped from the tears I cried the last day I wanted to die
Or maybe it's in the hands of the man that dangled dreams of marriage like carrots
Never proposing with those karats
How I wish it was still stitched to my sleeve
So I can stop fake-believing in love and just
Be.....
This is a poem I haven't thought about writing yet
To get this deep I'd have to drown in rivers, like Ibey
Sacrifice my life to give life, like I'm bait
Pour every sharp edge of my shattered shame,
Like scattered showers of splattered blame
Like it was my fault misogyny offered me monogamy
Like I wanted it even though I said I didn't
Like I wanted it even though I said I didn't
Like I wanted it even though.. I said.. I didn't
I guess
I guess my nervous laughs translated my "no's" into "yes's"
Or maybe
Maybe I gave in because of my untreated coping methods
Feeling worthless with every touch, hating every second
Trying to survive in my mind just to find my faults in the wreckage
Where chapters of my crumbled thoughts lay buried under a self-sabotaging tomb
Body, once a mausoleum for the souls of men who never even worshiped the womb
This is a poem I haven't thought about writing yet
To write this poem I had to chameleon blend into my poor decisions until I stop dreaming in broken
Wake up in time to facetime raw realities
Like some don't really love me, they just love how my art makes them feel
And these men don't really want me, they just love how my heart helps them heal
And this pain, this pain isn't trapped, I'm just addicted to how real it makes me feel
See, to write this poem
I'd have to pour too much darkness onto these pages.....
Conjur demons onto these stages
When all I want to do is erase 'em.....
Like eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
Take these memories and..... FUCK A REWIND!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry not every poem has a happy ending
So to write this poem I had to stop pretending.....
Like these scars aren't here for a reason
Like shit doesn't hurt for more than four seasons
So, when I say to you, "this is a poem I haven't thought about writing yet",
please understand I'm just keeping my scars zipped
So these stories stay clipped like weeds in my garden.....
