笨小笨(The Legend of) Miss Baltimore Crabs歌词由Broadway Studio Band演唱，出自专辑《Timeless Broadway: Hairspray》，下面是《(The Legend of) Miss Baltimore Crabs》完整版歌词！
(The Legend of) Miss Baltimore Crabs歌词完整版
(The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs - Various Artists
Well I brought my own '45s
So if you put 'em on
I'll show you my stuff
Haven't you already shown us enough
Oh my god how times have changed
This girl's either blind or completely deranged
Ah but time seemed to halt
When I was Miss Baltimore Crabs
Childhood dreams for me were cracked
When that damn Shirley Temple
Stole my freakin' act
But the crown's in the vault
From when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs
Those poor runner-ups
Might still hold some grudges
They padded their cups
But I screwed the judges
Those broads thought they'd win
If a plate they would spin
In their dance not a chance
'Cause I hit the stage batons ablaze
While belting high C's and preparing souffles
With that triple somersault
Was how I clinched Miss Baltimore Crabs
Proceed are you scared we're on live
No I'm sure I can cope
Well this show isn't broadcast
In Cinemascope
I never drank one chocolate malt
No no desserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs
How many sweaters do you own
Well I'm sure I've got plenty
Let me see I have three five
No wait I have twenty
I would say Oy gevalt'
If I wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabs
A tycoon I wed so cuddly and funny
The old fart dropped dead
But left tons of money
So I bought this station
So all of the nation could see
Baby amber and me
Do you dance like you dress
Amber there's no need to be cruel
Would you swim in an integrated pool
I sure would I'm all for integration
It's the new frontier
Not in Baltimore it isn't
And may I be frank
First impressions can be tough
And when I saw you I knew it
If your size weren't enough
Your last answer just blew it
And so my dear so short and stout
You'll never be in so we're kicking you out
You can't get past me kid
But it isn't your fault
It's hard to get rid of Miss Baltimore Crabs
You may go thank you Gee Tracy
That went well
Hello may I please audition
No but you can bow and exalt
'Cause I am Miss Baltimore Crabs
Crabs Crabs Crabs
