笨小笨Friends S05E11 (口白)歌词由英语听力演唱，出自专辑《老友记（第五季）》，下面是《Friends S05E11 (口白)》完整版歌词！
Friends S05E11 (口白)歌词完整版
Any entertainment there
All right Here we go 1999 the year of Joey 1999
We're very happy for you
What's the matter
We wanted to kiss at midnight but nobody else will so
All right I'll take care of it
It's 30 seconds to midnight what are you gonna do 30
Will you just trust me
Thirty three 32 31 33 32 31
Who are you kissing at midnight Rachel or Phoebe 0
You can't kiss your sister
Who's gonna kiss my sister Chandler
Oh man Really
Would you rather have me or him kiss her
That's a good point
Since I have that whole history with Rachel I guess Phoebe
Phoebe Listen Ross wants to kiss you at midnight
So obvious Why doesn't he just ask
Rach I'm gonna kiss you at midnight What
You can't kiss Ross You got the history
So
Would you prefer me or Chandler Good point
Three two one 3 2 1
Happy New Year
Happy New Year Happy New Year
Happy New Year You too
Happy New Year Joey
So that do anything for you
You know what
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say No divorces in '99 99
But your divorce isn't final yet
Just the one divorce in '99 99
I am gonna be happy this year I am gonna make myself happy
Do you want us to leave the room
Every day I am gonna do one thing I have never done before
That is my New Year's resolution
That's a good one
Mine is to pilot a commercial jet
Now you only have to find a planeload of people
Whose resolution is to plummet to their deaths
Maybe your resolution should be not to make fun of your friends
Especially the ones who might fly you to Europe for free
She has a better chance of flying up your nose
Than you do of not making fun of us
I'll bet 50 you can't go the year without making fun of us 501
Better yet a week 1
I'll take that bet my friend
Paying me the 50 can be 50
The new thing you do that day
And it starts right now
My New Year's resolution is to learn how to play guitar
Really How come
You know those special skills I have listed on my resume
I would love it if one of those was true
Want me to teach you I'm a great teacher
Really Who have you taught
Well I taught me And I loved me
That'd be great Yeah thanks Phoebe
My resolution is to be less obsessed with being neat and clean
Really
No
Or something else
Look Blaire forgot her glasses
She'll need these to keep an eye on that boyfriend
Who from what I hear needs to keep his stapler
In his desk drawer if you know what I mean
Maybe your resolution should be to gossip less
What I don't gossip
Maybe sometimes I find out things
Or I hear something and I pass that information on
You know kind of like a public service
It doesn't mean I'm a gossip Is Ted Koppel a gossip
If Ted Koppel talked about his coworkers' botched boob jobs I would
They were like this
Fine my New Year's resolution will be not to gossip
It's easy Easy You have never kept a resolution
Yes I have Okay let's see how you did last year
No No Not my diary You cannot read my diary
My resolution is to write in you every day See you tomorrow
Nothing
You know not a lot happened last year
All right I will prove to you that I can keep it this time No more gossiping
I hate gossip In junior high this girl said a lot of mean stuff about me
And I set her bike on fire
Wow what did she say about you She said I was crazy
But I guess she got hers
I'll see you tomorrow Okay
I just asked that girl out
Nice
Is that part of your new thing for today
Yes it is See
Elizabeth
Hornswoggle
That's right
Elizabeth Hornswoggle
Horn swoggle
You okay Chandler
Something funny about that name
No I just think I've heard it somewhere before
Oh really Where
Somewhere funny I'll bet
Guess what
I have a date with Elizabeth Hornswoggle
Hornswoggle Oh this must be killing you
Not really
I haven't told you her middle name yet Well don't Just don't
See you later See you
All right Phoebe I am ready for my first lesson
No you don't touch the guitar
First you learn here then here
Okay
Lesson one：Chords
Now I don't know the actual names of the chords
But I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them
So then this is Bear Claw
Turkey Leg
And Old Lady
What an interesting approach to guitar instruction
You know some might find it amusing I myself find it regular
Hey everybody
Rachel was so good today She didn't gossip at all
I didn't Even when I found out
Let's say I found out something about someone
And let's just say
She's gonna keep it
Check this out
You nailed the Old Lady
I thought I was getting better so I stopped by this guitar store
Did you touch any of the guitars there
Did you
No
Give me your hands
Strings This
Pick
Do you want to learn to play guitar Yes
Then don't touch one
Hi Ben Auntie Monica
Ross is wearing leather pants
Does nobody else see Ross is wearing leather pants
Someone comment on the pants
I think they're very nice I really like them a lot
Not what I had in mind
People like Ross don't wear these types of pants
You see they're very tight
Maybe there's something in that area
I think they look really good
Where'd you get them
I needed a new thing for today
There's this leather store that always smells so good
And I thought to myself：Wow I've never owned
A really good smelling pair of pants before
Oh come on
What do you think
You look like a freak
Awful
What are you doing
It's my New Year's resolution To blind my child
To take pictures of us together
It's the best resolution Everyone can enjoy them
Everyone will enjoy my music as well
My God these pants I'm burning up
Oh God She wants to snuggle now Is she trying to kill me
It's like a volcano in here
Are you hot No
It must just be me then
That was just the pants and the couch
Do you mind if I use your bathroom
Go ahead Thanks
My favorite part's coming up
Oh my God
Tiger
Dragon
Iceberg
Joseph did you even study at all last night
Yes I did
Then do lceberg
G sharp C
G sharp C
Have you been studying the real names of the chords
Have you
Oh my God
What I didn't touch a guitar
But you're questioning my method
No I'm not questioning it I'm saying it's stupid
What
Thank you
You know none of my other student
Thought I was stupid
Your other student was you
Well maybe you just need to try a little harder
Maybe I need to try a real teacher
Here Andy Cooper He teaches guitar
There's a picture of him with a kid
And the kid's got a guitar
Fine
You learn from your qualified instructor
But don't come crying when everyone is sick
Of hearing you play Bad Bad Leroy Brown
Oh fine Take his side
I can't wait to be with you
I'll sneak over as soon as I can
I'll tell Rachel I'll be doing laundry
Laundry Is that my new nickname
You know what your nickname is Mr Big
Would you stop looking at me like that Phoebe was a terrible teacher
I wasn't learning anything from her
Look I feel bad too Forget it we're going around in circles
Joey it's Ross I need some help
Chandler's not here
You can help me
Okay
Listen I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom
Nice
No I got really hot in my pants so I took them off
But they must have shrunk from the sweat
Or my legs expanded from the heat
I can't get them back on Joey I can't
That is quite a situation
Do you see any powder
Powder Yeah I have powder
Good good
Sprinkle some on It'll absorb moisture
Then you can get your pants on
Yeah hold on
They're not coming on man
Okay cut slits in the pants right Then put them back on
Go out there and tell her you're the lncredible Hulk
Chandler's not there
That would have worked but all right fine
You see any Oh Vaseline
I see lotion I have lotion Will that work
Sure throw some of that on there
Hold on
Sounds like it's working
They're still not coming on man
And the lotion and the powder have made a paste
Really
What color is it
What difference does that make
If the paste matches the pants you can make paste pants
And she won't know
Do you have a minute
Dude what am l
Rachel's here so good luck Let me know how it goes
Joey I have such a problem
Your timing couldn't be better
I'm putting out fires all over the place
Okay Joey I have got to tell you something
What is it
Oh my God It's so huge But promise me You cannot tell anyone
No no no I don't want to know
You do want to know This is unbelievable
I'm tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets
And can't tell anyone
You know secrets
You're not supposed to gossip
I know I just can't keep this in So I pick up the phone
I'm not listening to you
You've been in there for a long time
I'm starting to get kind of freaked out
All right I'm coming out
Hey can you turn the lights off
Let's just leave the lights on
Oh my God
I had a problem
I can't talk to you I don't have a fancy ad in the yellow pages
Look Phoebe I just
I want to apologize for saying your method was stupid
And maybe ask you to be my teacher again
I promise I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready
You really think I'm ready
Wow cool
Was the chord at least right before No
Oh my God
We heard about your pants I'm so sorry
This year was supposed to be great
It's only the second day and I'm a loser
With stupid leather pants that don't even fit
You're not a loser
Look at me
Hey look
Ben drew a picture of you
You're a cowboy
Because of the leather pants
He thinks you're a cowboy not a loser That's something
Lt really is something Howdy partner
Maybe I should get another pair
You know they had some
With fringe all down the sides
Phoebe you may know this You know strange things
What is the boiling point of brain
I used to know this
I'm gonna go kiss Ben good night
I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy
I would make a good cowboy
Now that everything's wrapped up I'll do my laundry
Yeah me too If this shirt is dirty
I'm going to the airport
If I hang around there long enough
Someone's bound to leave a plane unattended
Good luck honey Bye
Remember that thing I was gonna tell you about
I won't tell you But if you found out on your own
That would be okay and we could talk about it
Well then it wouldn't be a secret So that would be okay
Would you mind going into Chandler's bedroom
And getting that book he borrowed from me
Now You want me to go over there now
Do you know something Do you know something
I might know something I might know something too
What do you know You tell me first
I can't Then I can't
Okay fine
You don't know
I'll walk into his bedroom and see the thing
I think I know is actually the thing I think I know
You know And you know
Yeah I know
Chandler and Monica Oh this is unbelievable
How long have you known Too long
I've been dying to talk to someone about this
You can't say anything to anybody They're so weird about that
It's raining
I don't like to fly in the rain
I am gonna go for a walk in the rain
Me too
That's weird
I bet they're doing it
Okay look I can't take it anymore
So you win Okay Here
Flying a jet Make it a spaceship
So you can get back to your home planet
Phone call for you Tom Jones He wants his pants back
And Hornswoggle What are you dating a character from Fraggle Rock
