笨小笨Friends S02E09 (口白)歌词由英语听力演唱，出自专辑《老友记（第二季）》，下面是《Friends S02E09 (口白)》完整版歌词！
Friends S02E09 (口白)歌词完整版
Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree
Oh my God you should see the size of his Christmas balls
Hey RACHEL：Hey
How much did you tip the super
Yeah we were gonna give 50 but we don't wanna look bad
Oh this year we just made him cookies
And 25 it is
Heh You gave him cookies
Money is so impersonal RACHEL：Yeah
Cookies says someone really cares
All right we're broke but cookies do say that
I can see that
A plate of brownies told me a limerick
Pheebs let me ask you something Were these uh funny brownies
Not especially
But you know I think they had pot in them
So you guys who else did you tip with cookies
Uh the mailman the super
Oh and the newspaper delivery guy
RACHEL：What
Uh I don't think you're gonna like this
Oh gosh
Oh these are cookies smashed in the Sports section
And he did my crossword puzzle
Yeah but not very well unless 14 across Gershwin musical
Actually is Bite me bite me bite me
I can't believe it's Christmas already You know
One day you're eating turkey the next thing you know
Your lords are a leaping and your geese are a laying Heh
Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year
Hey guys
Hey Rach
I uh got you a little present
I'll open it
It's a Slinky
Ha ha Remember huh
Walks downstairs Alone or in pairs
Everyone knows it's
Just a big spring
You're still mad because of the whole
Horrible list of reasons not to be with me
How about we just call it the unfortunate incident
Hey Gunther You got stairs in your place
Yeah Go nuts
Hey guys Hey
What's in the bag
Mm just some presents
Come on show us what you bought
You know you want to
Okay
This is a picture frame from Ben to my parents
Oh that's cute
Some Hers and Hers towels for Susan and Carol
And uh I got this blouse for Mom
Ross that is gorgeous Yeah
Look at these authentic fake medals
Mom's gonna be voted best dressed
At the make believe military academy
Hey Hey
Happy Christmas Eve Eve You too
Oh my God Where did you get this
Uh Macy's third floor home furnishings
This is my father
This is a picture of my dad
Uh Pheebs that's the guy that comes in the frame
No it's my dad I'll show you
I thought your dad was in prison
No that's my stepdad
My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born
How have you never been on Oprah
Look see This is him
My mother gave me this picture before she died Same guy
Honey uh this is a picture of the frame guy
Posing in front of a blue screen with a collie
It's not a blue screen It's just
Maybe it was just really clear that day
Okay I have to talk to my grandmother
CHANDLER：Whoa RACHEL：Wow
I'm trying to get my boss's ex wife to sleep with me
Joey
Oh but when Phoebe has a problem everyone's all ears
Esther Livingston
Gone
Um Hi Pooh
Hi Gram Ahem what you doing
Oh just updating the phone book
Um Gram Um
Can I see the pictures of my dad again
Oh
Oh sure sure
Uh Huh how come
Just you know to see him
Oh sure Here
All right uh
This is the one of your father in a meadow
And uh helping a little boy fly a kite
And here he is at a graduation
Another graduation
Another graduation
Is this really my father
Is it really your
Well of course it is
I smell smoke Maybe because someone's pants are on fire
Well I
In all the years we've been grandmother and granddaughter
You've never lied
All right that's not your father It's a picture of a guy in a frame
Oh God
It was your mother's idea
She didn't want you to know your real father
Because it hurt her so much when he left
I didn't wanna go along with it
But then she died and it was harder to argue with her
Not impossible but harder
All right So he's not a famous tree surgeon
And I guess he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones
Last I heard he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate
That makes no sense
Why would the villagers worship a pharmacist
Honey
Oh Yeah Yeah
Anyway that's all I know
That
And this
This
Is the real him
Oh
I remember my father all dressed up in the red suit
The big black boots and the patent leather belt
Sneaking around downstairs He didn't want us to see him
But he'd be drunk so he'd crash into something and wake everybody up
That doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas
Who said anything about Christmas
Hi Anyone hear from Phoebe yet
No nothing
I hope she's okay
I know exactly what she's going through
How do you know what she's going through
She told us
What do you got there Monica
Stuff for the party
Aren't you guys supposed to be shopping
You didn't buy presents yet
Tomorrow's Christmas Eve What are you gonna do
Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that
Oh by the way Mon I don't think the mailman liked your cookies
Here are the ornaments your mom sent
Well
Maybe the mailman liked the cookies We just didn't give him enough
Monica pigeons learn faster than you
Hey Rach Ahem
I think I know what will make you feel better
How about you make a list about me
Forget it I'm not gonna stand here
And make a list
Okay you're whiny
You are obsessive you are insecure
You're gutless Heh
You don't ever just seize the day
You liked me for a year and you didn't do anything about it
And uh Oh you wear too much of that gel in your hair
See there You uh
All right you did what I said
And you know what Hmm
You're right I do feel better
Thank you Ross
Yeah in Albany Could I have the number of Frank Buffay
Okay Um in lthaca
All right um Saratoga
Oneonta
You know what You shouldn't call yourself Information
Hey
Hello Grandma If that is in fact your real name
Come on now Pooh Don't still be mad at me
How's it going Oh not so good
Upstate's pretty big He's pretty small You do the math
Well I think you're better off without him
Oh honey I know he's your daddy
But to me he's still the irresponsible creep
Who locked up your mom and stole her Gremlin
I know I just wanted to know who he was you know
Yeah I know
Okay
I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that uh I didn't know
Exactly where he lived
What do you mean
He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown
If you hit the Dairy Queen you've gone too far
You can take my cab
Wow
Thank you
Nobody else drives that cab Uh huh Got it
I'm gonna see my dad Ha ha ha
Thank you Oh Ha ha
Mm okay Oh
Wish me luck Grandpa
Hey
Phoebe here with the cab yet
Yeah she brought the invisible cab
Hop in
She'd better get here The stores close at 7
It'll be two hours to Phoebe's dad's house
They'll meet chat swap life stories
We'll still have plenty of time
Hey here she comes Hey
Hi
Hey JOEY：Hey
Can you believe this
In like two hours I'm gonna have a dad
Yeah big stuff
Okay let's go Okay
Here you have to hold this Okay
Brake left Gas right
Uh huh that's my cheat sheet
Where's my seat belt That side doesn't have one
The paramedics had to cut through it
Hey Hey
Come on just tell me Please please
For the 16th time no I do not think you're obsessive
Ross turn the heat down please Sure
By the way There's a difference between obsessive
Ross the heat
Okay Heat heat heat And I'm the obsessive one
Okay
This way is on
So this is
Off
Did you just break the radiator
No I was turning the knob and
Here it is
Well put it back
It uh
It won't go back Ugh I'll call the super
Here let me try
Oh oh that's right I forgot about your ability to fuse metal
Hey it's Funny's cousin
Not Funny
Hi Mr Treeger
It's Rachel Green from upstairs
Yes somebody uh broke our knob on the radiator
And it's really hot in here
Yes it's hot enough to bake cookies
Well do you think we could have a new one by 6
What No no Tuesday We can't wait until Tuesday
We're having a party tonight
Okay tip the man
If he doesn't like our cookies too bad
I won't be blackmailed
Look if it gets a little warm
It can be a theme party
Ooh this is it
Seventy four 74
Oh so that's what this is for
This is it I'm gonna meet my dad
This is like the biggest thing ever huh
Yeah Sure is
Here I go I'm going in
All right
Good luck Pheebs
Okay
Here I go
Here I go
I'm going
Hi
Welcome to our tropical Christmas party heh
Put your coats sweaters pants and shirts in the bedroom
It's hard to tell because I'm sweating
But I use exactly what the gel bottle says
An amount about the size of a pea How can that be too much
Ice
Ice Ice squares anyone Take a napkin
All right
Monica Monica
Monica your guests are turning into jerky
Really I'm perfectly comfortable
Ha ha Hey Get in line buddy I was next
Mr Treeger
You said there was a party
Oh yeah
Well hey welcome to our sauna
Uh is it hot My body always stays cool
Probably because I have so much skin
Hey cheese
Here's the chance Monica give him cash
Rachel give him your earrings Something Anything
No I will not cave
I'm with Mon
All right You know how you say I never seize the day
Even though he's your super I'm seizing
Mr Treeger
Here is 50 bucks Merry Christmas
Oh wow
I didn't get you anything
Here's five back
No that's your Christmas tip
Oh do you think there's a chance you can fix that radiator now
No can do Like I told the girl
I can't get a knob until Tuesday
He's playing baseball
You mean hardball
Whatever
What you gonna do
Excuse me I'm seizing
Mr Treeger
Here's another 50
Happy Hanukkah
Will uh this help with the knob getting
No
The place is not open till Tuesday
Am I not saying it right
So you really did like my cookies
Oh yeah they were so personal It really showed you cared
Nice seizing
Gel boy
So uh
Is this uh mistletoe
No uh that
That is basil
Oh Yeah
If it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you
No it's still basil
Okay
How far did you get Mailbox
All right we're getting closer Uh huh
What's going on
It's just like a whole mess of stuff
Like yesterday my dad was this famous Burma tree surgeon guy
And you know now he's uh a pharmacist guy and
Well maybe he's this really cool pharmacist guy
Yeah maybe And I'll knock on the door
And he'll hug me and I'll have a dad
I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be nice to me
Because you know I'm Frank's daughter
So why not go knock
Because I mean what if he's not this great dad guy
What if he's still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us
Yeah CHANDLER：Hmm
You know what
I've already lost a fake dad this week
I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one
Pheebs that's okay You took a big step today
Yeah CHANDLER：Yeah
Someday when you're ready you'll make it past the hedges
And when you do he'll be lucky to have you
You guys
Sorry about your shopping
Oh that's okay We'll figure something out
I know you're not going in there
But do you think it'd be all right if I went in and used his bathroom
That's fine never mind
Cool snow
Kind of like a blank canvas
Ho ho ho holy crap is it hot in here
You mind if I turn the heat down
We could have used that kind of thinking earlier
So Pheebs how did it go
Oh ahem I couldn't go in
Honey I'm sorry Are you okay
Yeah it's okay because I know he's there
So that's enough for now
Hey it's after midnight Merry Christmas everyone
Oh right Merry Christmas
The knob was broken
So I turned it off from underneath I hope that's all right
Rach these are for you
Wiper blades
I don't even have a car
Ha ha No but with this new car smell you'll think you do
Okay Pheebs your turn
Toilet seat covers
Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas
Mm hm
You guys
And for Ross
Mr Sweet Tooth
You got me a cola drink
And a lemon lime
Well this is too much I feel like I should get you another sweater
And last but not least
They're ribbed for your pleasure
